Hey all! Today (yesterday now..) was cheat day, a glorious day when I trick my body into believing that it is no longer being "starved" of calories. This day allows the metabolism to stay steady rather than crash and leave me on the plateau of dispare. Though this day sounds like a wonderful vacation from the extremely regimented diet that I have for myself, it is hard work to eat so many calories! As I have trained myself to eat only certain things 6 days a week it is really difficult to jump into a feeding frenzy, which of course costs way more than my normal food budget. This got me thinking about all of these extremely cheap people who are fat... How on earth are they able to save money if they are eating all of this processed food that costs way more than the raw basics that you actually need to survive. I spent $11.00 on a bag of Resse's Peanut Butter Cups and a pint of Ben and Jerry's. That is a quarter of my weekly food budget on two items!
Oh, the important stuff.. I almost forgot! I lost 2 pounds this week and 2.25 inches! I am at 197.5 and keeping a steady trend of weight loss that is sustainable and going to change my life! I was super excited about the inches lost because last week my right thigh was a whole inch larger than my left, this week they were the same. Totally weird I know, but my mommy does my measurements and I am pretty sure she is the person I should trust with such a duty as to get the best results! As the inches drop off I have began to think about things that I will get to go shop for. I know this sounds a little superficial, but my justification hopefully changes your mind. I have not enjoyed shopping for a very long time, unless it is online. I feel self conscious and horrible about myself when I have to go in and try on clothing because I am worried that I got a size (or two) too small. I am really excited to go shopping IN a store and have fun trying on clothing for the first time in a very long time. I can't wait to be able to look in the mirror and not want to shrink and hide from a body that doesn't reflect the soul within it. I am ready to bring what I have burning within to the outside and finally be able to accomplish things that I can't do now and have a healthier and happier body. Obviously this screams body image issues, and if this is what your mind was screaming while you were reading it was totally right. I do love myself, I just know what I am capable of if I allow myself to come out from under 47.5 pounds of garbage that is hiding me from the world. At 200 pounds I have climbed mountains, hiked, snowboarded, and tons of amazing things. My mom always says I am capable, I know I am capable, I will keep moving towards fitness and towards the goals I have set for myself.
Question for the day!!!
Q: What is one part of you (physical or character trait) that you are so glad to have?
Again, you can post your answer or just think about your answer for yourself. Either way, love that part of you.
My answer: I love my eyes, it is one part of my physical appearance that will not change through this whole transition. The phrase that says that the eyes are the gateway to the soul are totally right. I am so glad that I will be able to keep my eyes, they have seen all of my experiences, cried for my losses, and will see me through to the completion of my goals.
Good Night ya'll
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